These streaming options are truly ho-ho-horrible.
Whenever Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu update their streaming options with holiday favorites people usually have no struggles finding some great classics to watch. I mean between all of the great animated movies like Frosty or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer on Amazon Prime, the complete Santa Clause Trilogy on Netflix, and the raunchy and off-the-wall holiday comedy “Bad Santa,” finding a classic is easy.
But what about when you want something new? Something fresh and original about the classic tales of Christmas? Well, if you are that person: stay the hell away from these five streaming options. They are boring, unoriginal, poorly executed, and sadly, completely available for streaming 24/7 until the holidays are over.
5.) A Christmas Prince (Netflix)
This is your run-of-the-mill a reporter goes undercover to better understand the life of a royal prince, but along the way, she falls in love and is forced to keep her secret that she is a reporter and not his tutor. How will it play out?! Will they fall in love?! The answer to these questions is one in the same: predictably.
4.) All Through The House (Amazon Prime)
Old Jolly Saint Nick ain’t so jolly in “All Through The House.” Instead of dropping off presents to the good little boys and girls in the neighborhood, he’s droppin’ bodies with his murderous tools like hedge trimmers and an oversized knife. We are pretty sure this movie was filmed on your standard DSLR camera, too.
3.) Christmas With The Kranks (Hulu)
Tim Allen doesn’t care about your damn Christmas lights. He just wants to go on a damn cruise with his damn wife and have a damn good time, dammit! Too bad his damn neighbors have different plans for him.
2.) A Christmas Horror Story (Netflix)
*Extremely Joe Rogan voice* OUR TALE OF THE TAPES: IN THE LEFT CORNER WE HAVE THE HOLIEST AND JOLLIEST OF THEM ALL, THE FAT MAN IN THE RED COAT WHO HANGS OUT WITH ELVES AND REINDEER, THE COOKIE EATING AND MILK DRANKIN’ MACHINE: SANTAAAA!! IN THE RIGHT CORNER, REIGNING IN FROM YOUR CHILDREN’S NIGHTMARES, THE EVIL VILLAIN WHOSE CHILLIN’ AND SCARING CHILDREN: KRRRAAAAMMMMPUUUSSSS!
1.) Happy Christmas (Netflix)
Anna Kendrick, a silly party girl who is always up to silly things, is forced to move in with her brother’s family after she just went through a tough break up. What a fresh new movie idea! I wonder if she will learn any valuable life lessons about herself as she spends her Christmas with a family?!