1870 Mag

The Road To (Twitter) Retirement

There weren’t many losses on the field that the football team took this year, but the biggest loss of the season comes at the helm of the squad. With Urban Meyer announcing his retirement and Ryan Day taking over as head coach, it seems a new era is on the horizon for Ohio State.

But the real Urban leaving the team is only half the story. The other half? What the hell is going to happen to the Fake Urban Meyer on Twitter? Well, he put it bluntly in a tweet following real Urban’s retirement: “I’ll still tweet. I’ll still interact. Again, I’m not dead yet, idiots.”

So with that in mind, I had to see what’s in store for the fictitious Urban as he settles into Twitter retirement.

How did you become Fake Urban Meyer? Did you ever imagine you’d become a legitimate force in the wide world of voices around Ohio State football?

I started the account at the end of the 2012 season after the Buckeyes went 12-0. I was mad the team was banned from postseason play and I could only imagine how real Urban felt. So I decided to guess what he might be thinking through tweets. The account kind of took off. Urban‘s wife followed me fairly early on along with a lot of people inside the Woody Hayes facility. Some players, their family members, even coaches and their families started following me. So I had a lot of information that I was entrusted to keeping without giving anybody up.A lot of people thought that I was an insider to the program but I really wasn’t. I simply gained their trust.

So what exactly do you do for a living? Is it football related? Or are you just a huge Ohio State football fan with a huge audience?

I’m not a student. But I did graduate from OSU. I guess you could say I’m your typical suit and tie person during the week with a little bit of fake football coach sprinkled in. I don’t really focus on the number of followers I have, most of them are probably Russian bots or something. But it is funny comparing the number of followers I have compared to other coaches. The real ones. One of my followers actually had the time and sent me a comparison. It really shows you just how passionate Ohio State fans are, following a fake football coach.

Now that you’re an undefeated season, a national championship three Big Ten titles and 7 wins over Michigan in, what would you say was the best/your favorite moment from your time in Columbus?

Winning a national championship, obviously. That was incredibly fun dealing with that stupid Virginia Tech loss early on and then steamrolling through the rest of the schedule. A close second would be all those wins against That Team Up North. I’ve been blocked by a lot of opposing coaches and I’m shocked that Jim Harbaugh or even Brady Hoke never blocked me.
And the fact that so many current and former players have followed me along with coaches – and they’re not just from Ohio State. It’s crazy to see opposing players, coaches and even Major League Baseball players and some NBA guys following me along with NFL players.


Any thoughts on the incoming hordes of Fake Ryan Days on Twitter?

I wrote a lengthy announcement about FakeUrban’s future about 12 hours after news of his retirement became public. Essentially I said I’m not dead, people. I’ll still tweet during games and about other things. I’ll still bug the hell out of other fan bases, especially those located in Ann Arbor and State College. I can tell you that there are several burner accounts created by coaches and celebrities who follow me. Their followers would absolutely freak out if they knew their coach follows me. Publicly, some guys by the name of Zeke and Joey are followers. Tennessee Titans coach Mike Vrabel follows me too, which is pretty cool.

Let’s do some fill in the blank: When I’m not watching Ohio State football, I’ll be watching _____.

Other sports. Movies and Netflix when I have time.

What’s your favorite movie?

What is this, Tinder? So many personal questions. I prefer comedies for the most part. Think stuff that was made in the 70s and 80s and I’ll watch.

My favorite Ohio State sport to watch besides football is ____.

Men’s basketball. Some of the players follow me and I’d love to see them roll through the Big Ten and March Madness.

The single best play from your tenure as Fake Head Coach was ____.

I was at the 2014 game in East Lansing. We lost the Big Ten Championship to them the prior year (sad Papa Johns game) and it was a prime time game. I tweeted during a timeout that we should throw long. JT threw it deep to Michael Thomas and it turned the game around. Perhaps one of the coaches read my tweet and called the play.
Zeke’s huge run against Alabama was also pretty special. 


The Giveaway

Not romance movies that make scenes where a girl is kissed while she’s asleep. It’s not romantics and it’s not consensual. Let’s do better.

Do any guys actually respond to texts or is it just something I need to come to terms with at this point

NOT the Mormon men that will try to talk to you even if you have headphones in… walk in groups y’all!

To the girl I saw crying on the phone in Panera (Lane 6/19) I know a breakup phone call when I see one and that was heart wrenching to watch 🙁 keep your head up because you looked absolutely beautiful that day! You are strong

Shelby your scrunchies are cute and you’re fucking gorgeous


Load More…

Follow us

Don't be shy, get in touch. We love meeting interesting people and making new friends.