1870 Mag

The People You’ll Meet in the First Week of Classes

Notorious Note-Taker

There is going to be a person in your class who not only actually does the readings (who the hell does readings?) but takes notes that are basically as long as the reading itself. What’s even the point? This person might be a little weird and quirky, but it’s definitely worth introducing yourself to for study guides, exams and any night where you “forgot” to do the readings.

“Attendance is Mandatory?” Guy

In case you haven’t checked your email yet, attendance is mandatory in the first week of your classes for all classes so that instructors can get a grip of who is actually enrolled in their classes (or something like that). You will, however, have a guy who comes to the very first class and when syllabus review is over, he’ll ask “so, is attendance mandatory for this class?” and you just know you’re never gonna see him again for the rest of the semester. Might still pass the class, though. It’s magic.


Sophomore By Credits

If this is you, please take some notes (or ask note-taker person to help you out): we do not care what you are according to your credits. First year on campus? You’re a freshman. We don’t care about your AP test scores, your collegiate classes you took back home, or anything like that. We get it man, no we don’t want to see your high school diploma with honors. If you ever explain that you are a “sophomore by credits” then you are pretentious and we will not be your friend. Unless, of course, you happen to find another sophomore by credits and you two link your lanyards together to unlock the key to infinite power. Anyways, back to the subject at hand: lots of students come in with college credit already, just say you’re a freshman or a first-year student and we won’t make fun of you.

Person who is Definitely taking this class for the second time

This one’s for all of you in those crazy hard majors like biomedical molecule science (I don’t know what I’m talking about) that have weed-out classes like some intro physics class with 500 people where only 200 will pass or something. Someone in that class has taken it before and failed, so they feel like they know what’s going on but they clearly don’t (because, you know, it’s their second time taking the class). If this person says they want to go half on study guides, run. If this person invites you to a party, go. It’s pretty simple. But if they give you any advice on doing better in the class you should probably do the opposite.


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