1870 Mag

The Sex Survey: Extended Response Results

How OSU Gets Down

It’s February so you know what that means: love is in the air and sex is on our minds.

So with all the high-powered emotions floating around the theme of Valentine’s Day for the month, we decided to tap into the mind of some students. And by some students, we mean more than 1,000. We asked some slightly uncomfortable questions—what’s the weirdest thing someone has said to you during sex?; would you ever consider a threesome; you know, the questions you can’t ask your parents—and you guys gave us some wild answers.

So without further ado, let’s get down and dirty, 1870 style.

What’s The Most Important Quality You Look For In A Partner?

Male Responses:

  • Ability to hold a conversation.
  • Compatibility.
  • Honesty.
  • Humor
  • If they can make you feel wanted.

Honorable Mention: Tide Pods.

Female Responses:

  • A communication style that matches mine.
  • Being able to make me laugh/sense of humor/funny
  • Determination to be successful in whatever they love.
  • Goofy, but mature.
  • To look for the same thing in our relationship.

Honorable Mention: When Brutus does that thing where he bangs his head with his fists.

Where’s The Most Interesting Place You’ve Fooled Around?

Male Responses:

  • 50-yard line in the Shoe.
  • A synagogue.
  • Baseball dugout.
  • Hospital bed after lung failure.
  • Roof of the RPAC.

Honorable Mention: Under the Tom W. Davis Clocktower at 3 a.m.

Female Responses:

  • Dorm’s janitor closet.
  • Lincoln Tower soccer fields.
  • Park bench in the South Oval.
  • The second floor bathroom in Thompson Library.
  • The stairwell in Drackett Towers.

Honorable Mention: Bulls, I’m gagging too.

What’s The Weirdest Thing Someone Has Said To You During Sex?

Male Responses:

  • “Keep fucking me while I take this call.” It was her mom. And I did. It was weird.
  • “Oh my God…Is that my shit on your chest?”
  • “Did you do the reading for tomorrow?”
  • “My dad has those same underwear!”
  • [Owen Wilson voice] “Wow.”

Honorable Mention: “Can you feel it now, Mr. Krabs?”

Female Responses:

  • “Hang on a sec, my ex is calling.”
  • “I can make a walrus noise, wanna hear?!”
  • “Is this punk rock music heavy enough for you?”
  • “Taxation is theft.” He’s so woke.
  • “You do this a lot better than I thought you would.”

Honorable Mention: He sang J. Cole’s “Wet Dreamz” while I took his virginity.

Be sure to check out the statistical results from the Sex Survey here!

1870 Staff

1870 Staff

Comments

The redhead in the Michigan State sweatshirt I sat across from in Thompson today (2/14). If you don’t already have one, I’d love to be your Valentine.

I hate the people that loudly chew their food or smack their gum in the middle of class, I literally hope you get a terrible sunburn, a million paper cuts, and then dunked in a pool of lemon juice

Where are all the cute redheads at?

NOT people who open containers of tree nuts in open places. Seriously, people are DEATHLY allergic to them. Not just if they eat them, but also if they have contact with their oils or she’ll them. If your hungry, open a bag of potato chips. Don’t put a whole population at risk.

The hot redhead chick from the Wendy’s commercials a few years ago

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