5 WAYS TO ENSURE THAT YOU STAND OUT FROM THE REST
It’s officially the start of the new semester, and all the Buckeyes know what that means: new class schedules, lines at Barnes and Noble, and hundreds of anxiety-ridden girls in Canada Goose coats and Uggs pacing in the Union, waiting to leave for their next round of formal Greek Recruitment, run by Ohio State’s Panhellenic Association. If you’re nervous because you’re going to be joining the league of other freshmen, sophomores, and even a few juniors that take on the journey of recruitment (which some say is even harder than climbing Mt. Everest), don’t fret! Your helpful pals here at 1870 have constructed a handy list of ways you’re sure to stand out and leave a lasting impression on your favorite chapters.
1. CBND: Constantly Be Name-Dropping
Take a page out of everyone’s favorite The Good Place character’s book, Tahani Al-Jamil, and spice up each conversation by mentioning all the cool celebrities that follow you on social media. Don’t have any cool celebrities that follow you on social media? Make it up! Be sure to tell long-winded stories about how you’re distantly related to Tina Fey, or how you were at the same Christmas party as Tom Holland, but swear he’s not as interesting or attractive as he seems on the red carpet. There’s nothing like titillating gossip to make you the most interesting recruit possible. Also, we heard you get bonus points if you mention you know a Kardashian/Jenner.
2. Talk two decibels louder than everyone else to assert dominance
It can get loud in the sorority house with all the girls in the chapter plus everyone that is going through recruitment, and the last thing you want is to be too quiet. How will anyone remember what you’re saying if they can’t hear you? Our solution is to simply talk two decibels louder than everyone in your vicinity. If people aren’t staring and wincing, then you’re not talking loud enough. Once you’ve reached an appropriate level, you’ll be able to assert your dominance over other potential new members while making yourself stand out in the eyes of the older chapter members. It’s simply a win-win.
3. Dress to impress
No one actually knows what the phrase “snappy casual” means, so take this opportunity to choose an outfit that will leave the ultimate impression. It’s all up to the way you interpret the theme, anyway. Maybe you decide the most snappy thing you could possibly wear is an elaborate Guy Fieri costume, complete with frosted tips. Or you could decide to place your emphasis on the “casual” with a denim-on-denim ensemble, completing the look with your fanciest pair of Crocs. No matter what you decide to wear, as long as you’ve constructed an outfit that pulls all eyes towards you, you’ve succeeded. Show these chapters what it really means to be a fashion icon and strut your stuff , girl.
4. Fart very loudly and blame it on the girl next to you
Everybody gets nervous during high pressure situations, and recruitment is definitely as stressful as it gets. You may feel like you need to let off some steam (no pun intended), but don’t feel embarrassed. If you truly need to let one rip, all you have to do is blame it on the girl next to you! The trick is to tap the girl on the shoulder, then loudly say, “Hey, so we all heard and smell what you just did, but girl, DON’T WORRY. Like DON’T BE EMBARRASSED. I think what you did is really brave.” The sorority girls will be touched that you’re so compassionate and understanding that they will definitely make a special note to invite you back for the next round. No one ever has to find out the truth.
5. Play a prank on your favorite chapter
The best way to let people know how fun and quirky you are is to show them! So if there’s a special chapter that becomes your favorite throughout recruitment, play some fun pranks on the members to make them realize what an asset you’d be to the squad. For example, make some cute “kick me” signs and plant them on the backs of some of your future sisters. Or, spice things up by dropping a rubber snake on the floor and causing pandemonium! There’s nothing that girls love more than bonding over a shared trauma, so try and think of something that will really bring the group together. They’ll thank you once you’re the newest addition to their sisterhood.