“I’m a Fan of Old Ohio”: A poem to the tune of “I am a Man of Constant Sorrow”

BY ANDREW WALLACE

(For old Ohio, to our graves)

I am a fan of old Ohio.

I seen touchdowns in my day.

Home, or away across the country

And we ‘gon rise to all occas(ions)

(Yes we will rise to all okays)

///

Fourth quarter we’re gonna make you fumble.

The pressure felt on hallowed ground.

Fourth and long, we love a scramble.

We want the end zone, not the down.

(We want the end zone, not the down)

///

Spring, Winter, Fall or even Summer.

How firm thy friendship, Ohio.

Poorest to the rich we stand united.

You can’t divide the Buckeye State.

You can’t divide the Buckeye State)

Shoes in the air, we keep a tally,

For every pair, you send our way.

Are you gonna play, or wait for halftime

Play script Ohio every day.

(Play script Ohio every day)

///

That team up north, is gettin handled.

They need a map to find the score.

Oh, come November, they’ll all be sorry.

They ever messed with Ohio.

(Don’t ever mess with Ohio)

///

Any would-be country singers care to make this jam a reality? If so tag me on Instagram @andrewwally