1870 Mag

Foul-Mouthed Foodie: NACHOS GALORE

HAPPY NATIONAL NACHO DAY! Sadly, restaurants have yet to recreate Ron Stoppable’s infamous nacho from Kim Possible. As such, I was given the oh-so-woe-inducing task of compiling a list of nacho options by campus. Because, honestly, who doesn’t have a cheese kink? Oh… it’s just me? Never mind, then. MOVING ON! Here’s a comprehensive list of all the places you can get your nacho fix, just in queso you didn’t know. 

On Campus

Cazuelas – Take advantage of the fact that Cazuelas just opened a new location on campus, just where Mad Mex used to be (RIP). Before I get too teary eyed, can we just talk about all the damn options Cazuelas offers? Y’all. They have Carnitas Nachos Supreme, Potato Nachos, Nachos Supreme. MY GOD. Go get fucked on a Cantarito with cheesy goodness on the side. Trust me.

Gateway Film Center – So, like, Gateway is my second home. As a film major, I take my movie snacks seriously. On this day, the day of the nacho, you can feel safe knowing that Gateway’s got your back. Enjoy some Ohio Nachos while watching a movie (with your student discount, of course). 

Woody’s Tavern – Y’all what the actual heck! Woody’s Tavern has nachos!!!! Woody’s is my favorite place to do work on campus. Sitting down by the fire and drinking a beer while finishing a paper smack dab in the middle of campus is priceless. Add a plate of nachos and I’ll honestly never eat anywhere else. Damn!

Oxley’s By the Numbers –  Just got out of a class discussion on your final paper for English 1110? Bored out of your skull? Cheer yourself up with some nachos topped with your favorite protein and some salsa that is conveniently close to all your Enarson recitation classes. But also, go work on your paper, silly goose!

Just Off Campus

Ethyl and Tank – Two words: Tank. Nachos. These nachos are a force to be reckoned with. Ethyl and Tank never ceases to deliver. And you didn’t hear this from me, but if you go during happy hour, you can get these bad boys for $5. Trust my gut (it’s huge, let’s not talk about it). GO!

Plaza Mexican Grill – Although simple, any nacho situation can be made better when accompanied by a margarita. Next week, I’ll tell you more about my love for margaritas. But for now, if you have a hankering for quick, simple nachos, this is where you want to go.

Chumley’s – Can we all just agree that the best thing Chumley’s ever did was move to south campus? I love their new location. And their fire-metal-tiki-torch-looking poles are very nice to sit by in a crisp autumn night while enjoying a beer (or a few, I’m not judging). Chumley’s has got your back with their Nacho Platter. If you’re not a champion like me (*tsk* *tsk*) and can’t do a whole platter, they also have a half-order option. 

Varsity Club – If you live on North campus, I got you. Varsity Club has a chill plate of nachos topped with cheese, tomato and salsa. If you’re not super adventurous, this is where you want to go. And for a $4.50 price point, you can get like… five more without breaking the bank. It’s worth it in my book.  

Buffalo Wild Wings – If you’re looking for a quick nacho fix, B-dubs has some decent Ultimate Nachos for you. I’m always a fan of house-made tortilla chips. Not only are they double-layered, but they also come with a bunch of fixins AND house-made pico. Not bad if you ask me. 

Fast Food Options

Qdoba – Y’alllll. Okay, so, I’m basically a lazy mo-fo, and I like to order things online for pickup. Qdoba’s nacho menu is freaking lit. You can customize your bad boy as much as you want. You can even get the chips ON. THE. SIDE. This means you can make them as spicy or mild as you want, or as meaty or veggie-friendly as you’d like. Shit’s crazy. You need to check them out.

Moe’s Southwest – So, one of my best friends is a vegetarian. Although I don’t necessarily like eating the food my food eats (I’m in a Parks & Rec kick, leave me alone), I appreciate places that offer a lot of veggie-friendly options. Moe’s Southwest offers tofu as one of the protein options, which is really cool. I’m not going to lie, the nachos are kind of on the simple side, but the fact that they purposely cater to a vegetarian friendly audience gives them the W in my book. 

Taco Bell – Guys. Repeat after me: Nachos BellGrande. I’m not saying Taco Bell offers the best nachos in all the land, but I am saying that you can get them nachos and beer for less than 10 buckaroos. Just something to think about.

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Nicole Pizarro

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