1870 Mag

Drunk Zodiac Signs: February

Pisces

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(February 19-March 20)

You’ll be looking for some much needed change in your life this month, Pisces. Whether it’s a new haircut, lifestyle or relationship, go for it! Change can be healthy and can keep things fresh, so choose a drink on the 14th that reflects this. The universe recommends a Bloody Mary as your Valentine’s Day drink this month. It has tomatoes and celery in it! Standard brunch has a Bloody Mary bar with the biggest mugs you’ll ever see.

Aries

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(March 21- April 19)

The month of February will be a freeing one for you, Aries. You’ll find yourself wanting to shed some extra weight in your life which will cause you to act spontaneously. This Valentine’s Day go out of your comfort zone and splurge on an expensive drink that makes you feel a mixture of fabulous and buzzed. The universe recommends a Grey Goose martini as your Valentine’s Day drink. You’ll only be paying for one anyways since you spontaneously broke up with your significant other.

Taurus

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(April 20-May 20)

You’re going to feel very aggressive during February, whether it be at work, play, or rest. Aggression can be used for good or bad so make the decision wisely. Channel that energy into something that always results in a good time—drinking. The universe recommends absinthe be your Valentine’s Day drink of choice as it pairs nicely with an aggressive attitude. I heard the bar at The Blackwell Inn just put it on the menu two months ago.

Gemini

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(May 21-June 20)

You’re going to have to work hard this month, Gemini. The future reveals a trying time for you as you’ll be tested over the new four weeks. Your mind will tend to race and decision making may come as a challenge to you due to feeling nervous or rushed. The universe recommends a flight of beer as your Valentine’s Day drink, it’s easier to make a decision when you can choose more than one. Seventh Son has a good deal on flights and a great menu of locally brewed beer.

Cancer

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(June 21-July 22)

You’re feeling quite over-indulgent this month, Cancer. Your energy and confidence will inflate, leaving you with a happy and balanced mindset. This is your time to enjoy life and relax while things look bright in the foreseeable future. You’ll find yourself itching to travel somewhere
sunny and low-key. The universe recommends a pina colada as your Valentine’s Day drink to help simulate the illusion of the beach. Union Cafe makes them fabulous and decadent.

Leo

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(July 23-August 22)

February is going to be an active month for you—mentally and physically. You’ll find yourself wanting to work out more than normal due to an increased intake of mental activity at work, school, or home. Release any tension or fear the new year has already brought you through exercise and make sure to keep yourself hydrated. The universe recommends water as your Valentine’s Day drink … sorry.

Virgo

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(August 23-September 22)

The pressure is on this month, Virgo. School and work will place a big weight on your back and you’re expected to keep it from hitting the floor. Whether it’s a project or assignment, a lot will be at stake. Pressure may bring you anxiety so try and deal with it in a healthy way. The universe recommends tequila shots as your Valentine’s Day drink. You can find them anywhere.

Libra

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(September 23-October 22)

You’ll be craving love and affection in February, Libra, but it won’t come that easy. You may find yourself having to work extra hard to receive what you wish but don’t let it be an excuse to lower your standards or give up. However, this hard work will pay off and you’ll be heavily rewarded. The universe recommends a pitcher of Miller Light as your Valentine’s Day drink. It’s easy, and it’s a large quantity of alcohol which is what you’ll need. Two Bucks on Chitt won’t let you down.

Scorpio

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(October 23 – November 21)

Things will be unpredictable for you in February, Scorpio. Be aware of sudden changes and unexpected twists in your life. You’ll find yourself craving security and making conservative choices. The universe recommends red wine as your Valentine’s Day drink. One can never go wrong with a safe glass of wine. The Wine Bar in Westerville has got you covered.

Sagittarius

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(November 23 – December 21)

You’re feeling sexy this month, Sagittarius!!! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a Valentine’s date yet, you’re confident you’ll find one. So get promiscuous and explore the field. You may find yourself having more options than expected. The universe recommends a sex on the beach as your Valentine’s Day drink.

Capricorn

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(December 22 – January 19)

You’ll be craving fun and excitement this month, Capricorn. Find ways to seek out adrenaline to soothe your hunger for action. However, don’t let your antsiness find its way into your personal relationships. Take your Valentine’s date on an adventure with you, it may bring you closer together. The universe recommends vodka and soda with lime as your Valentine’s Day drink. It keeps you hydrated for your adventures but also gets you drunk.

Aquarius

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(January 20 – February 18)

This will be a sophisticated month for you, Aquarius. New business ventures will present themselves and you’ll need to be at your most professional. Choose a drink that pairs well with a refined demeanor. The universe recommends an old fashioned as your Valentine’s Day drink. You may be spending it at an interview or business meeting. Hyde Park is the perfect environment and boasts a large assortment of bourbon. Look at you, you big shot.•

Sydney Riddle

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