1870 Mag

Drunk Zodiac Signs: April

Summer is just around the corner, so hold on tight. It’s finally shorts weather—unless you’re that guy who wears shorts in 30 degree weather—and graduation is upon us. Whether you’re hanging onto every second of the semester or desperately waiting for school to end, this month has a lot in store for everyone. It’s Aries season, and the new moon in Aries on April 5 will bring you strong energy and the desire to take something head on.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(February 20-March 20)

It has been a rough semester, my friend. That professor rating site did you dirty and now you’re fighting for your life in your class. Say no more, fam. Go get yourself a Painkiller (the cocktail) and forget all your troubles. You’re welcome.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(March 21-April 20)

It’s your season, Aries, so live it up! You’ve been fighting though this whole semester and it’s finally about to pay off. Mercury enters Aries on April 17, which may cause you to make quick decisions and just say YOLO. The Aries ram recommends you go all-in this month and party it up with your friends. Go pound a Moscow Mule, or four, and show them who’s boss.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(April 21-May 21)

This month has been a tough one, so slow down and relax! Your season is almost coming up, so take it easy. Your drink is a Margarita—sit back, enjoy the warm weather, and get tipsy. 


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(May 22-June 21)

You crazy Gemini. You’ve got a wild summer in store and the April 18 Solar Eclipse will bring you new friends and memories, so hold on for that. Grab yourself a Martini and sip on that ever-so casually to show your new acquaintances what they’re in for.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(June 22-July 22)

The ending school year is giving you some of that much needed sun, and highly anticipated paychecks. Use this newfound free time to clear your mind and make room for a potential romance this summer. Go get risky with a Gin and Tonic and watch the romance fall into your lap 


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(July 23-August 22)

Leo, you’ve been struttin’ your stuff so much this semester (and your whole life tbh), so let summer be your time to really gas yourself up. Indulge in a new wardrobe to show off your style and bod. After you’re done shopping, head over to a saucy Short North bar and grab your April cocktail: a Cosmopolitan.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(August 23-September 23)

This month might bring some stressful times. Whether it’s exams, graduation, or friends moving away, it’s okay to be in your feelings and feel sorry for yourself. The stars are telling you to sip on a Vesper until you get that liquor confidence you need to finish this semester strong.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(September 24-October 23)

The moon pattern this month might be causing some extreme emotions, and the April 8 Solar Eclipse will bring you a surge of confidence to take total control. Allow yourself to be a boss ass beyotch and hit up a Bloody Mary bar so you can take control over your drink and your life.  


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

October 24-November 22)

School is finishing up, so it’s time to decide on cutting ties or stringing along that side piece you’ve had all semester. This semester will finish strong for you, and the warm weather will bring you some much needed party time. Drink a classic Screwdriver and go with your gut on sending that late-night text.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(November 23-December 21)

Mercury leaves retrograde on April 16, which will give you some much needed emotional cleansing. That professor who has been ignoring all your pleas will finally give you the help you need to finish off your year with a bang. While you’re celebrating, grab a Mojito and relish in the refreshing taste.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(December 22-January 20)

Some tension with important people in your life has brought you down a little, but don’t let petty fights blind you from the people who you truly care about! Saturn enters retrograde on the 29 in the sign of Capricorn, so use this newfound strength to your benefit and be the bigger person. Grab a classy Gimlet and put your tensions to the side to recover some important relationships.


Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(January 21-February 19)

Your hard work this semester has paid off, so don’t lose motivation. The April 18 Solar Eclipse will make things speed up for you, which might cause you to feel overwhelmed. Make sure to take some time for yourself and have a boujie night out with your friends. And while you’re at it, order a Sex on the Beach.


Lily Maslia


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