1870 Mag

Cuffing Szn Competitors: Pick your petals off the flower and pick your cuffing szn fighter

There are two sides to every coin, and this coin just got tossed into a wishing well that’s about to freeze over. As the temperature drops, so do those panties, am I right? It’s time to choose: are you getting into a relationship this cuffing season, or are you choosing to spend some quality time with y-o-u?

⛓ “Cuff a Buck!” or 💆 “Self-Love Is Enough?” Let’s lay out the major differences to consider…

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

No matter how you choose to be intimate with your significant other, having someone to be close with emotionally as well as physically is so appealing. Maybe you’re somebody who even uses the L-word.

💆 PHYSICAL INTIMACY

Hooking up can be great, as long as you’re safe. Head to the RPAC to join condom club, and get tested for STIs regularly either at the Planned Parenthood on 17th Ave or the Wexner Medical Center.

ROOM FOR TWO

Sex and relationships go together like peanut butter and jelly. Not every sandwich needs both, but they sure do get sticky.

💆 ONE-HAND (WO)MAN

Masterbating is a perfectly healthy activity that can help you get to know your body better.

COUPLE STUFF

Cute, seasonally-inspired dates are great. Be the envy of your Facebook friends and Instagram followers with hayride photo ops before the weather gets too cold.

💆 NUMBER ONE

Date yourself. Take yourself to dinner and a movie, a haunted house, or go to a bar and get groovy like nobody you know is ever going to see.

A CHANCE AT ROMANCE

Write a letter. Woah, a love letter!? Ever gotten one of those? I sure haven’t. You don’t have to be a poet to handwrite a note. Put together a handwritten note, and see how it goes.

💆 ROMANTICIZE YOURSELF

Start a diary. You may never read it, but being able to express your feelings tangibly can be better than therapy, I swear. Plus you can go for more than an hour a week. I’m not saying skip therapy, just add this to your routine.

SLURPING SPAGHETTI

Cook together. This is such an underrated date idea. Who wants to spend a bunch of money to get dressed up and buy food when you can hang out in pajamas and make your favorite childhood meal?

💆 GUILTY PLEASURES

Eat. I’m not even going to encourage you to eat healthily. If you feel the need to pig out, I say go for it. You know better than anyone else what you need. Please, love the skin you’re in, please.

WE GOT THAT FAITH

Trust. You can’t be together all the time, even if you’re meant to be together forever. So trust that your partner is respecting you, and your wishes. Even when you’re out of town for the weekend and their ex is in their DMs.

💆 WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING CONFIDENT?

Believe. We all have doubts sometimes. Doubt in ourselves, and doubt in our surroundings. Take a second to remind yourself that you have faith in you, and that’s all you need.

NO NEED FOR SCREENS

Netflix and chill. Whether you actually watch what’s on is up to you. I hope you can agree on something you’ll both enjoy.

💆 NO MOVIE TALKERS ALLOWED

Netflix and chill. Become completely immersed in a series binge that nobody would like, but you.

SMALL SPACES, NEW FACES

Road trip. If you want to really test your patience, see how long you can stay in a car with a person before you’re ready to ditch them at a gas station. Or maybe enjoy a memorable, and affordable, vacation. Either way, don’t forget the snacks.

💆 WIDE OPEN SPACES

Road trip. Visit friends or family that are too out of the way to see on the regular. They’ll appreciate all the effort you’ve put in, and you’ll get to see someone special again. Feel free to get lost or stop wherever you want along the way.

HIGH-LEVEL CONVERSATIONS

Smoking weed. Roll your significant other a blunt and tell me y’all aren’t about to have the most fun. Goof off and make good love.

💆 ARTISTIC INTEGRITY

Smoking solo can be so chill. You listen to your own music, and do your thing. It’s not anti-social to use marijuana in moderation.

CHEERS

Drinking. Drinking with your significant other is what you make of it. Maybe you’re both sauced and guaranteed to get handsy in public. Maybe one of you is the responsible one. Just remember that this is all in good fun. Don’t harsh each other’s good time.

💆 ME, MYSELF, AND WINE

Drinking by yourself. I mean, if that’s what you’re into, who am I to judge? Maybe a nice glass of wine before bed is a part of your self-care routine. (If you think you have a problem, the Collegiate Recovery Community is located in 097 Baker Hall.)

DOWN TO DTR

Talking. Is this a relationship or nah? I’m really into this person, but we haven’t defined the relationship (DTR), and I’m worried they’ll find somebody else. Don’t rush to define something if it’s doing fine without a definition. Don’t leave something important undefined.

💆 SHOOT THE BREEZE

Talking. This person is clearly really into me, but I’m just dating casually right now. That’s totally up to me, and I can get around if I want. It’s important for me to be upfront about that, so that we don’t get too attached. If you’ve got an online dating profile, don’t be afraid to include that.

HIGH RISK

What if it’s not enough? Breakups can be tough, to say the least. You deserve to be treated like royalty. Find someone you can count on in times of need. Don’t hesitate to rip the band-aid off and bleed.

💆 LOW BLOWS

What about feeling lonely? Feeling alone can be one of the greatest burdens on one’s mental health. At the end of the day, we all need friends. “You’ve got a friend in me.” -Toy Story.

Andrew Wallace

Andrew Wallace

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