Happy Holidays, drinkers. Last Saturday I attended one of apparently a few bar crawls taking place in Columbus this holiday season. Got a holiday party coming up the weekend before the big day? Fret not, the crawls left me with a handful of inspiration you can use for your outfit of choice this weekend, or on Christmas itself. Grandma’s gonna think you’re so cute.
1. Pink Bunny Suit from A Christmas Story
A couple of these outfits are references to some of the best Christmas movies of all time, so they’re more than just a conversation starter when you’re trying to impress your high school friends back home. They show wit and humility, because you’re not coming to the party to show them that you’ve glowed up, but rather that you’ve only gotten funnier and more confident.
2. Harry & Marv from Home Alone
Not to vent, but I planned on attending the crawl dressed as this iconic duo with my boyfriend, only to find exactly zero (0) trench coats at the various Columbus thrift stores. However, there was a single Marv & Harry duo wandering the crawl, and they really pulled it off. For Harry, don’t forget a gray trench coat, black headband (since the top of his head gets burnt off), some white feathers, and if you’re down for going all-out, a gold tooth. For Marv, you’ll need some good curls on your head, a mustache, a crowbar, a brown trench coat, and a fake spider to stick on your shoulder. Oh, and play around with some red makeup to make the iron mark on his face.
3. Patterned Christmas Suit
I really thought these were going to lose traction at some point, but I’d say one in every tenth man I saw was wearing some kind of patterned Christmas suit covered in trees, santa hats, snowflakes, etc. Since they’re not losing steam, it might be a good idea to purchase once to keep in your closet over the next few seasons.
4. Ugly Christmas Sweaters
An absolute classic. Everyone should have at least one annual sweater they save for various holiday events; this is a staple of adulthood and if you don’t find yours now, get ready to feel caught off guard every winter when the first party hits and you’re stuck.
5. Holiday-themed pieces you probably couldn’t wear any other time
Get obnoxious! I have elf suspenders that I save for every season. Find your own jingle bell earrings, striped red and green knee-high socks, elf ears, or reindeer antlers. It’s the tackiest time of year, so just lean into it. Find all the red velvet and fluffy white-lined skirts, dresses, and hats you can. Or even a beer-sponsored Christmas onesie! (This is the best one.) You will only fit in with the crowds in the best way.