How to prepare for the political battleground that will soon hit campus
As we ride our way far into the new year, the mounting pressures of the 2020 presidential election become more and more relevant. In a few short weeks, the Democratic primaries will be making their rounds – March 17 for those registered to vote in Ohio. With these new developments, you’re bound to notice a change throughout campus and the way people are acting. Get ready. Here’s your warning of all the things you should expect to see.
PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF LOYALTY
Residence halls will become divided, and slews of people holding clipboards begging for your signature will be on every corner of the Oval. There are some sure-fire ways to tell that election season has fallen upon us. For example, don’t be alarmed when Students for Bernie tracks down your every move after you talk with them once in the Wexner plaza. They’ll yell about tuition-free school and democratic socialism whilst fighting off the Elizabeth Warren student group for rights over the Wex plaza. My best tip? Wear a hoodie, always sport some shades, and trust that airpods will be your best friend.
There will be whispers among WGSS classmates about the tenacity and grit that Warren has over other candidates. Make no mistake: Warren is their god. Buttons are abundant on their backpacks and jean jackets. Expect to see new and innovative sticker designs on HydroFlasks all over campus; not only is it a political statement, it’s a fashion statement. Before you know it, there will be red, white, and blue scrunchies boasting political slogans. Dump Trump 2k20 on blue baseball caps can be spotted in the RPAC. No place is safe from political fashion.
Expect sticky note messages all over the dorm windows for the die-hard poli-sci majors. According to NBC4, after the devastating sticky note ban of 2017, students felt discouraged and frustrated by the oppression of their artistic abilities. This is the perfect time to reestablish the creative flow. MAGA, Feel the Bern, Warren 2020, Biden 4 prez: all of these and more on the floor-to-ceiling windows of Blackburn. You think you’re just enjoying a nice dinner at Scott, when in reality you’re being bombarded by dormroom propaganda to manipulate your political choices. Play it safe and post-up a penis.
NOISE TRUMPS SILENCE
Let’s not leave out the Trump supporters, or even sympathizers. College Republicans may be voting for Trump because they see no other option – and the inevitable debate will ensue between them and campus dems. Is Trump really a racist or is he only kind of a racist? (Spoiler alert: he is.)
Campus morphs into something similar to The Hunger Games during an election year. Friend groups are torn apart, dorm floors are divided, and classroom debates intensified. My advice? Just go with it. Playing devil’s advocate during a debate leads to priceless reactions from your politically-inclined friends. Give into the sticky note advertising and rate which ones are the best. Make a collection out of how many candidate buttons you can find lying around. Afterall, it only happens once every four years.