Buckeye Plague out in full force
Buckeyes were welcomed back to campus this semester with the worst outbreak of influenza in years, totaling 25 cases in just the first week of class. To make matters worse, the flu shot was only 10 percent effective this year among adults 20 to 64, according to a study by Eurosurveillance. Upon further research, the study also noticed that 10 percent would increase to 17 percent when looking at all age groups, according to an article by Vox. The ass-kicking strain going around this year is called H3N2, and it brings body aches, fever, and a overwhelming appreciation for all of the times you weren’t sick. Side effects also include curling up in a ball on the couch, wishing you could breathe through your nose, and a deep resentment of the healthy and well. The flu can be deadly, so wash your hands frequently, and cool it on making out with strangers at Bullwinkles for a few weeks.
OSU puts the “NO” in Snow Days
Every year students hope for one snow day, but Ohio State’s administration has to weigh the odds of any one of 50,000 students dying of hypothermia against losing out on $300,000 of lost revenue. Money usually wins, as always at OSU. In the last 40 years, the university has closed 12 times; most recently in 2014. If you really want a snow day, you probably have more luck praying to the climate change gods for a “Day After Tomorrow” caliber snowstorm than repeatedly bugging administration on Twitter about it every time Columbus sees more than five inches of snow.
Columbus enters The Thunderdome to become Amazon’s HQ2 city
Our corporate overlords are—shockingly, to the rest of the country—considering little ‘ol Columbus as one of the potential cities for Amazon’s HQ2. Other cities on the list include Austin (back at it again trying to steal our thunder), New York, Boston, and Denver. If we’re picked, Amazon will invest $5 billion into building its new corporate playground here, and the rest of the country might stop confusing Ohio with Idaho. Additionally, the winning city will see 50,000 new jobs and an extra hour of commute time. The next step is for Columbus to choose the names of the boy and girl it’ll send to Seattle to fight to the death. (That’s how this works, right?)
Take a bus to see Chelsea Handler
OUAB is bringing the comedian to the Athenaeum on Feb. 2. It’s OK if you don’t know where or what the hell that is, OUAB will also provide busing. We’re not sure what the conversation will be about, but with her most recent work being focused on activism, she probably has a lot to say about literally everything happening in the world right now. Handler got her start in comedy after a group of DUI offenders found her story of drunk driving funny, and is best known for her E! Network show “Chelsea Lately.” Since the conclusion of “Chelsea Lately” in 2014, she has tried to reinvent her image by working on more serious projects, and now she has made a truly inspirational journey from DUI to activist.
Correction: The original article published in 1870 Magazine’s February issue incorrectly stated the flu vaccine is only 10% effective. According to a report from Eurosurviellence, the vaccine is 10% effective with adults between the ages of 20 and 64, but 17% effective when considering all ages. SOURCE: Vox.com.