1870 Mag

What’s Your Sign?

Your Zodiac Sign reading based on how you get around campus.

So you made it to campus, and before the day is over you’ve quickly realized that walking from Hagerty to Fisher is not going to happen during that 10 minute class exchange you have. There’s plenty of options for getting around campus—bikes, scooters, skateboards—but which one fits your personality the best? We broke it down for you so you don’t end up on a longboard when everyone knows you’re a total scooter person.

Skateboard: You have either been doing it your whole life, or are just trying to fit in. Laid back on the outside, but driven by masochistic tendencies on the inside, skateboarders are great at going with the flow of campus craziness weaving between people and cars to get to their destination. Prizing love of a lifelong sport over the comfort of a longboard, skateboarders are the OG four wheeled board riders.

Longboarding: Either the trend setter, or trying to be part of the trend, longboards offer the easiest entry to skateboard transportation. Longboarders are like the preppy cousin to skateboarding’s grime. Longboarders prefer a relative ease of use, and long for moving out to California to “catch the waves” they don’t know how to surf yet. Experienced longboarders have a deep love of speed, and an extreme aversion to stopping, something evident as they bomb down 17th late at night.

Boosted Board:Do you even vape, bro??

Scooter: You know what convenience is, but you’re not about to feed in to cultural hype that exists with the board options. You want to get where you want to go fast, and preferably with brakes. You like letting loose at times, but you also death grip the handles when the road gets a little too bumpy.

Hoverboard: You are a G.O.A.T, or that’s what you tell yourself at night… Image is everything, excess is the ultimate desire. If you could afford a Segway you would be riding that, but you were too busy spending drug money to cop the latest Supreme x Louis Vuitton collab. How many Yeezy’s do you own? Probably one less than the number you totally need, but you’re just reselling them; right?

Bikes: You are level headed and realistic, while the spectrum of bikes ridders is vast, at your core you know what’s up. Bikes are as synonymous as cars, and the truth is they are the ultimate way to get around campus. You know you want to hit that class exchange on time and know the most practical way to get it. Your exterior hides a deep hatred of being late, and you have less patience than you’d like your friends to know, a hallmark of the easy parking abilities of the bike. Now if we could only get you to understand the concept of bike lanes…

Inline Skates: You’re a rebel, but in the traditional sense. You don’t care what others think about you, you fit in no box. Other people laugh when they see you cruising down the street on your inlines, but you just shrug it off. You know how to cut away from the grain, and are confident in who you are.

Walking: Probably in the arts and sciences, or engineering or really anything, you kind of just blend in, or don’t. This one’s a real crap shoot because at the end of the day, walking is great, everyone does it, and you can always get where you need to go with it.

Zagster: You like to live life on a day-to-day basis and not let the worries of tomorrow weigh you down. You see every day as a challenge, and you are also probably late to everything—which explains why you are riding your Zagster bike instead of riding the bus. Alas, that sweet feeling of victory when you ride up to class only 10 minutes late this time only validates your need to live life on the edge.

Julian Foglietti

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The cashier girl at the 2nd & high chipotle snorted when she came out to the lobby and we started talking.

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niall horan-lookalike brendan who lives in smeeb

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The two blondes in front of me in Hitchcock rn I’ll let either of you cheat off me on this midterm for your number(s)

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idk maybe someone who actually says how they feel instead of using an anonymous twitter account ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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To the blonde girl in the purple MTV sweatshirt, id love to show you around my crib.

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