1870 Mag

Top 10 People We’d Rather Have As Guest Speakers at OSU

If you are reading this, whoever plans these things, heed my words.

Though the university has already denied white nationalist Richard Spencer’s attempts of speaking at OSU, he and his team of attorneys aren’t giving up yet. As reported by “WOSU,” Spencer has laid an ultimatum for OSU to either allow him access by Friday or face a lawsuit on Sunday.

If you forget who Spencer is, let us jog your memory. Spencer is a leader in the alt-right community and advocates for an “ethno-state” that provides a safe space for white people. Most recently, Spencer’s words and rallies were the center of attention in Charlolttesville, Virginia; you probably remember the event as “a bunch of racist white dudes with tiki torches.”

The report from “WOSU” also touches on in the past where Spencer was denied access to Auburn University in Alabama. After filing a federal lawsuit, the courts ruled against Auburn and Spencer was granted access to speak at the university. This could be a major precedent if Spencer does decide to file a lawsuit against OSU.

While we don’t really know what will happen next, nor do we intend to speculate. Instead, we decided to offer 10 great alternatives if the university does decide to hold to denying Spencer access.

  1. Chris Noth, also known as Mr. Big from the HBO hit series “Sex and the City”
  2. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair
  3. Kanye West, but he answers all the questions in the hour long Q&A with, “HEH?!”
  4. Robert Irwin, the son of Steve Irwin
  5. Macaulay Culkin
  6. Steve Carrell, but he stays in character as Michael Scott from “The Office” the whole time
  7. My Uber driver from last weekend
  8. Rodney Dangerfield’s corpse
  9. One of the bouncers outside of Bullwinkle’s
  10. Guy Fieri, but he forgot to frost his tips that morning
Mitch Hooper

Mitch Hooper

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The Giveaway

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Girls with freckles.

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Not all those people that want someone that voted a certain way, don’t judge them by who they voted for. Judge them… t.co/0G9kLbrqSQ

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Not girls who voted for Hillary

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not all these fucking political submissions

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Damien Farmanimals that was in my umbrella making class last semester

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