1870 Mag

The Spring Game Drinking Game

The first home opener for the Buckeyes is many months away, but true fans know the season never really ends for football.

After bowl games and national title games are finished and scores are settled, we get a break from the pigskin for about two months. But, as soon as mid-March hits, the Bucks are back on the practice field gearing up for another season of kicking ass, taking no shit from anyone, and forcing Michigan fans into another year of saying, “Well, we’ll get em next year.”

April is finally upon us and that means it’s time for the first unveiling of the Buckeyes to the public eye. But what do these Spring Games even mean? Looking at past years, like when Braxton Miller went down in 2014, the Buckeyes’ season was dead on arrival according to all the experts. But, JT Barrett (with some help from Cardale Jones) stepped up and helped win an undisputed National Championship.

We’re calling bull shit on anyone making predictions on a team before the season even starts. Sure, it does give us a glimpse of the possibilities of the season ahead, but it’s absolutely not a surefire method of determination.

So, forget trying to figure out the intricacies of the Spring Game; that shit is too nuanced. Instead, try out this Spring Game Drinking Game that is sure to be more entertaining than arguing with your roommate about who should be starting at middle linebacker. We recommend playing this game from home with a few cases of cheap beer—save that money, yo—but if you are on a big baller budget, you can still play this at the stadium.

One Drink

  • The crowd does the OH-IO call out.
  • Someone with you does the OH-IO call out.
  • Someone near you says, “I can’t wait for football season to actually start” or any variation of that phrase.
  • Someone near you says, “Didn’t football season just end?”
  • Hang On Sloopy plays.
  • The camera shows Brutus.
  • Every time a player picks up a first down and makes the arm signal.
  • For every player on the field with a hyphen in their name.

Two Drinks

  • Nick Bosa is referred to as “the younger brother of Joey Bosa.”
  • Broadcaster makes a reference about Urban Meyer’s past coaching jobs.
  • Broadcaster brings up Jim Harbaugh for reasons unknown.
  • Any signs that use “OSU” or “ESPN” as an anagram.
  • Every time a commercial comes on about applying to Ohio State.
  • Anytime there’s a potential ESPN Top 10 play.
  • For every player on the field with a double last name.
  • Anytime a camera man is ran over on the sidelines. (Pour a little out for the homie who gets trampled too.)

Finish Your Drink

  • Before the end of the first play. (What, you scared or something?)
  • The “Percy Harvin” position is mentioned.
  • The announcer properly pronounces Nicholas Petit-Frere’s name.
  • The camera shows a shot of Buckeye Donuts. (Bonus points if you can eat a Buckeye Donut during this moment too.)
  • If Cardale Jones is in attendance/makes an appearance.
  • Make it onto the jumbotron.
  • Alternative: Recognize someone you know in the crowd on TV. (Drink double if said person dabs.)
  • Immediately after the end of the game.

SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

  • Every time you and someone else get in a OSU football related argument.
  • Every sappy Instagram post from your friends who are way too nostalgic about Buckeye football.
  • For every player on the team from the state of Michigan. (We counted. There’s four.)
  • For every exam you should be studying for, but opted to get drunk and watch football instead.
1870 Staff

1870 Staff

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