1870 Mag

Sorority Dry Week Gives Regular Girls a Chance

Average Student Society of Girls Really Involved with Normal Day Evenings and Research Studies unite!

The first two weeks of January mark an exciting time for attractive, young women who like to socialize with one another and also sororities as they gear up for pledge week. As a part of the rituals, both the ~sisters~ and the hopeful, new adoptees are required to remain sober so they can fully enjoy walking in 6-inch heels from house to house to get judged by a room full of girls in matching clothing. 

But enough about them, let’s talk about a group that gets overlooked far too often– the Average Student Society of Girls Really Involved with Normal Day Evenings and Research Studies– also known as the ASS GRINDERS of Ohio State.

While the ASS GRINDERS normally take a seat in the shadows of their more attractive, successful, popular and able to afford all those quality counterparts, sorority rush weeks marks a critical time in their life: it’s called their time.

These next couple weekends the ASS GRINDERS will be on the prowl at bars, looking for free drinks at every corner because they heard that’s what happens when girls are out normally and, now that females are of short supply, they can finally be desirable.

So this weekend, make sure to pay your dues to the ASS GRINDERS of Ohio State as they hit the local bars in search of your love and affection. 

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here

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