1870 Mag

Satire: OU Students Still Too Drunk To Realize They Aren’t In Rose Bowl Right Now

OU ≠ OU

After rolling out of someone else’s bed alone and naked at 3 p.m. New Years morning, Ohio University students got the enthralling news that OU will be in the Rose Bowl.

Damn near shitting themselves of excitement, the students who returned to campus promptly 1 day after Christmas to get back into the magic of OU hurriedly picked up their things to walk back to their own friend’s house and prepare for the big game.

“I always thought our football team sucked by, heh, guess not,” one student said after 4 straight minutes of silently staring into the reporter’s eyes while drooling and arguably also crying. “I need to start pre-gaming.”

While OU is an abbreviation for Oklahoma University, not related in any way to Ohio University, since no one lives close to Ohio University besides its student body, no one was there to break the news and allowed the drunks to get drunker in celebration of the big game.

“Holy shit the Bobcat looks different in the wintertime,” one student said while watching the game. “Yoooo since when do we wear red?”

In the student’s defense, the referee did call Oklahoma “Ohio” during the coin toss which could get pretty confusing. 

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here

Comments

Newest Stories

The Giveaway!

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Like this if you want to give me an Indiana ticket so my wife can go to her first game with me. I’ll give you a tic… t.co/PQhZFgvEME

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

When is the whiteout? I’m a junior and have never been ~in the loop~

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

i know it’s ohio but where are the southern girls

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

The cute blonde in the white top, forest green pants and flannel around her waist passing out some sort of flyer in SEL around 2pm!

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Girl with red plaid shirt tied around her waste at the smoothie place in the RPAC, Wednesday (9/19)
Please like this!

Follow us

Don't be shy, get in touch. We love meeting interesting people and making new friends.

X