1870 Mag

Satire: OU Students Still Too Drunk To Realize They Aren’t In Rose Bowl Right Now

OU ≠ OU

After rolling out of someone else’s bed alone and naked at 3 p.m. New Years morning, Ohio University students got the enthralling news that OU will be in the Rose Bowl.

Damn near shitting themselves of excitement, the students who returned to campus promptly 1 day after Christmas to get back into the magic of OU hurriedly picked up their things to walk back to their own friend’s house and prepare for the big game.

“I always thought our football team sucked by, heh, guess not,” one student said after 4 straight minutes of silently staring into the reporter’s eyes while drooling and arguably also crying. “I need to start pre-gaming.”

While OU is an abbreviation for Oklahoma University, not related in any way to Ohio University, since no one lives close to Ohio University besides its student body, no one was there to break the news and allowed the drunks to get drunker in celebration of the big game.

“Holy shit the Bobcat looks different in the wintertime,” one student said while watching the game. “Yoooo since when do we wear red?”

In the student’s defense, the referee did call Oklahoma “Ohio” during the coin toss which could get pretty confusing. 

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here

Comments

The Giveaway!

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OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

I have two tickets to the blue jackets game Thursday night if anyone wants them. Me and my man can’t go. Fav this and I’ll dm you

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

To the nice boys who helped me get my car unstuck from the alley behind my house, you two are a blessing. THANK YOU

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

yo boy lookin for some people who are down to do some dumb stuff on the weekends

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OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Any tips for a shy girl lookin for love?

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OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Tired of talking to someone for like a day or two and they stop replying and it goes nowhere.
Any girls looking for a serious relationship?

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