1870 Mag

Satire: Emo Punk Boy Band Uses Lead Singer’s Girlfriend’s Fake Orgasm As Inspiration for New Hit “Yeah No, I’m Sure It Happened”

Lead singer of local Emo Punk Boy Band “Sadness”, Brett Cathartic, said he was “fucking the shit” out of his girlfriend Mel when he discovered the perfect tune to the band’s next hit “Yeah No, I’m Sure It Happened.”


“I was giving the kinkiest missionary of my life when she let out a noise that would work perfectly for a new song we have been working on called “Melancholy,’” Cathartic said. “It goes something like ‘oh, yeah, okay, well no but, yesssss, woo. Are you still in? uhh. Great, okay.”


The song title “Yeah No, I’m Sure It Happened,” Cathartic said, has nothing to do with the sexual encounter.


“Well the title is something I thought of myself to give a dark sort of, uhhh, dark feeling to the beat,” Cathartic said deadass lying to our reporters.


The beat, Cathartic said, is meant to sound like a phone texting, mixed with a couple of yawns and daydreams. This as well has nothing to do with sex with his girlfriend.


“Wait you’re not actually going to put “fake orgasm” in the article, are you?” Cathartic said.

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can’t I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here



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