1870 Mag

SATIRE: 2018 Entrepreneurs Release This Year’s Trend in Resumes

As technology consistently changes to meet modern standards, it is pivotal that interns and new hires keep with the “new” in the hiring process, starting with resumes.

However, the trend in resume-building may surprise you.

“We can see it all via Facebook, Linked-In, Instagram and Twitter,” Brett Butler, CEO of Butler Inc. said. “As a professional in the hiring industry, work experience, education and even volunteer work is all repetitive.”

The result in the spike in social media and virtually unlimited access to information? Butler says, it is a new type of resume.

“We need creativity, we need innovation, we need more,” Butler said. “That is why we are releasing this year’s hot, new resume format as a 4-page spreadsheet portrait of the candidate, dead staring into the camera.”

Butler said the 4-page spread allows the recruiter to look deep into the eyes of the candidate to know if they truly have the passion it takes to work the job with which they are applying. 

This is especially true for the culinary industry, who have sworn by this method for years.

“When looking for the perfect culinary master, it is emanate that they have ‘the look’ we are going for,” said Chic Filah himself. “The bloodshot, hungry and stoned eyes that are slightly lazy with crumbs stuck in their rustled hair and beard with mouth slightly cracked open—that’s how you know they have the grit it takes to work into the night and day.”

 

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here

Comments

614Works

    OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

    OSU Crush
    @OSUCrush

    When you see your boy who’s not really your boy sitting with a beautiful girl and feel like crying and takin her ou… t.co/YK00Vs1Vyo

    OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

    OSU Crush
    @OSUCrush

    Not the guys who stop talking to you just because you don’t want to hook up

    OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

    OSU Crush
    @OSUCrush

    I keep tweeting but it would take go up. Mya from 8am 1220 chem. Please ruin my life

    OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

    OSU Crush
    @OSUCrush

    Long wavy brown haired boy with nice lips and a cute smile… you could get it

    OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

    OSU Crush
    @OSUCrush

    Found this kitty on w 9th ave, she has a green collar with a green bell. No tags. If you know her owner, please let… t.co/otSEWLOtSX

    Follow us

    Don't be shy, get in touch. We love meeting interesting people and making new friends.

    X