It is almost summer which means the hot weather, shorter shorts and rogue vegans, out on the prowl waiting to prey on innocent carnivores even though they claim to not eat meat. Lurking inside of our favorite restaurants, dessert shops, hipster-ass coffee places and even pizza shops are the non-meat, non-dairy, non-happiness eaters who are eager to tell you about their vegan diet. Yikes! Well for all vegans reading this who have not gotten offended, here are some places that flourish in your diet restrictions or at least will entertain it.
Brassica: The cool thing about this place is that there is almost nothing about the menu that could possibly not be vegan besides the obvious meat yet you can STILL ask a line of people if the carrots, cauliflower and cabbage is vegan. There is no way a line of 4 people trying desperately to pile on food quickly because there’s actually no designated space for a line to fit out the door do not have some spare time to talk about your weird ass diet.
Basil: If you have a spare $20 to spend on one meal labeled by allergy/diet, then head on over to Basil. While the menu items are CLEARLY labeled, you can STILL ask, “is this vegan?” Who knows, you could not be able to read because you also rejected modern schooling, or you could think that the large, circled V stands for virgin or very sad.
Little Eater in the North Market: What could be better than a large, enclosed area that has the food you like but also has other people who eat normally that you can chase around a huge circle, harassing them about the food they just bought?
If all else fails, you can always hope to tell people about your food when you inevitably post it on Instagram and hope people comment on it.