1870 Mag

Recipe: Brownies That AREN’T WEED BROWNIES

Weed is Bad™, folks.

Don’t you just hate it when you come home from a long day of work and your damn hippie roommate slipped some ILLEGAL marijuana into the brownies? You were just trying to come home and watch some damn Trailer Park Boys but now you are higher than astronaut shit and can’t find your remote. 

Enough is enough.

Check out this recipe that will most definitely keep you as sober as the straight edge you are.

  • 1/2 cup butter with NO WEED ADDED
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  1. Do not take out the weed, if there is weed out, put it away. Do not smoke or put weed in brownies.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. This should be the only thing lit right now.
  3. Combine ingredients, give them a bit of a whirl. If you get confused, there should be actual directions on the side of the brownie mix box.
  4. Grease baking container and pour her on in there.
  5. This is the important part: do not add weed after pouring. You don’t need it.
  6. Bake for like 20 or until you can stick something—not your finger—in it and it comes out clean.
  7. NOW YOU’RE DONE! CONGRATS ON THE CLEAN BROWNIES!!
Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here

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Sam Rocco. I regret SO much not getting to know you better or ask you out last year. Coffee when I get back this fall?

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The guy who ran shirtless down Hudson the other day. When’s the next show?

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Julie Cohen holy ever loving shit are you single????????? Very friggin interested here

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Not me for being a junior and STILL not having gone to an OSU game (damn you ticket prices)

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Bars on high, you cured my depression by replacing it with alcoholism

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