1870 Mag

OSU Drunks Say Construction is just a “Small Roadblock” to Drunk Food

As the daytime turns to night drunk hoes stumble through campus bars, starting at Plaza or Too’s depending on the type of night they want to have and inevitably ending up at Bullwinkles after stumbling into Midway to get drunk enough to the point that even Mid isn’t ratchet enough or the Midway bathrooms are too ratchet for their night.


But somewhere in between or after the crawl drunk food is necessary, as the drunks take to the streets in hot pursuit of a good donut, sandwich, fries or pizza. This would all be good and fine had the construction on High not gone into full force this summer, tearing down the makeshift sidewalk to separate drunks from the street and leaving them to find their own way around the madness.


“The construction is only a roadblock in our mission to get munchies in the middle of the night,” Bryan Rox, third-year in strategic communications said. “If at first you don’t succeed, walk through the streets to get what you need.”


Rox said him and his buddies used to walk around the constructions to get their food, but after spending a full hour round-trip walking around the construction zone, he decided, “fuck it” and walked through the construction.


“I tried to walk through the construction, but we got stuck for a whole night and it was scary as fuck,” Rox said. “We couldn’t escape the construction so we decided, if we can’t go through it and are too lazy to go around it, we must take to the streets.”


Rox said he “swears” that when his group of friends ban together to walk the streets, they look identical to a mid-sized car.


“Construction is just a small roadblock,” Rox Said.

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here


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