1870 Mag

List From The Editors: Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs Of All Time

1. “Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Dean Martin

At first listen, you think, “Wow, this is a sweet and simple Christmas song. Dean Martin is Good!” But, after you look up the lyrics you realize this might be the creepiest song ever. LET THE POOR WOMAN LEAVE, DEAN, STOP FEEDING HER MYSTERIOUS DRINKS AND TELLING HER IT’S COLD OUTSIDE.

2. “Little Drummer Boy (Remix)” by Justin Bieber

Look, I’m the first to admit that Bieber’s album “Purpose” was killer. I loved it. But no one, and I mean literally no one, asked for this remix that includes a rap feature from Busta Rhymes and chaotic EDM beats.

3. “Funky, Funky Christmas” by New Kids On The Block

“New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits…” besides this one because this is an absolute trainwreck that features a horrid rap segment and a solid minute and a half long intro of some shitty beat with “Have a funky, funky Christmas!” being said repeatedly.

4. “Have A Cheeky Christmas” by The Cheeky Girls

Britain has given America so many great musical artists like The Rolling Stones or The Beatles, but we are going to have to put a return to sender stamp on The Cheeky Girls’ Christmas album.

5. “Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas” by John Denver

Holy shit, if you thought the title of the song was dark, wait until you hear the lyrics. “Mamma smiled and looked outside the window. She told me, ‘Son, you better go upstairs’ then you laughed and hollered ‘Merry Christmas.’ I turned around and saw my mamma’s tears.”

Mitch Hooper

Mitch Hooper

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Sam Rocco. I regret SO much not getting to know you better or ask you out last year. Coffee when I get back this fall?

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The guy who ran shirtless down Hudson the other day. When’s the next show?

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Julie Cohen holy ever loving shit are you single????????? Very friggin interested here

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Not me for being a junior and STILL not having gone to an OSU game (damn you ticket prices)

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Bars on high, you cured my depression by replacing it with alcoholism

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