1870 Mag

Life Hack: How to Throw a Party With Carpeted Floors

You move into a new apartment—your dream apartment with everything nearly perfect and rent almost affordable. The only downside is that you have carpeted floors, a lot of friends, and a drinking problem—a terrible mix. Luckily, there are ways that you and your friends can embrace the carpet without feeling like weenies.

Here are just a few:

  1. Buy a shitty carpet from a second hand store, clean it real well, and use it on top of your carpeted floor where you estimate that people will be standing. This way, if they spill it will seep into your carpet. 
  2. The best kind of parties are in the summer, especially for you. Limit your big parties to warm weather and set everything up in the great outdoors. People will think you love nature, when really you just love a clean house. Keep all the alcohol outside, too, so people don’t have to walk around inside to get to it.
  3. The Tarp-et. This is by far the best decision you can make in your life and you have three options:
    1. Lay down a tarp and don’t acknowledge it. People will notice it when they first walk in but will be either too sober to confront you comfortably or too drunk to notice.
    2. Decorate the ‘party tarp’: Find a tarp, decorate it with spray paint to say ‘the party tarp’ and embrace the fact that you have just laid an entire ass tarp down on your floor to keep people from spilling. This is a great idea because it allows people to know that you aren’t ashamed of being clean and you expect a rager and dammit they can give you that. 
    3. Get a clothe party tarp to put over the tarp and have people who come to your party write on it/sign it. That way it becomes a staple of your house that people want to return to instead of just a weird centerpiece.

Really there are several ways to tackle the carpet but we’re going to push the party tarp for obvious reasons. 

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here

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