1870 Mag

How to Hook Up with Your Second Cousin

Well, overalls are back in style, but that does not mean it’s okay to fuck your sister quite yet. Yes, society is getting there, but for right now, you still have to follow the universal rule that it is okay to fuck only your second cousin. Good news is that you actually just found out that you have one of those who have avoided family events for the past 20 years and you are ready for the prowl. Here are the several steps you must take to convince your hot second cousin to hook up with you.


Step 1: Have grandma introduce you two. You know  g-ma is the greatest wingman there ever was because halfway through the conversation, she’ll fall asleep so you’ll have ample time to convince her to hear you instead of looking at you.


Step 2: Remind her that you aren’t really related. Make sure they know that you two didn’t come out of the same people who came out of the same womb. That’s really a turn off.


Step 3: Ask if she wants to get together as a “family” (it is imperative that you add in the hand quotation marks because, again, you two aren’t really related) and then convince your other family members to not go. Since you guys are all family, you can probably get them to follow you and since you’ve been family for so long, they know you haven’t gotten any in a long time


Step 4: Hold your baby family member a lot so she knows you’re good with kids.


Step 5: Remind her you’re not family again.


You already have an in because you’re “family”, people would do anything for “family,” right?

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can’t I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here



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