1870 Mag

Drunk Zodiac Signs: December

The moon and the stars have realigned and my crystal ball is clear now. You know what it says? It’s cold as hell out. Instead of letting these frigid temperatures get you down, warm up your soul (and liver) with these drinks according to your drunk astrological sign.

Capricorn

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(December 22-January 19)

Out of the goodness of your heart, you’re making drinks for the whole family this year. Do them right and mix them up some Cranberry Ginger Mimosas!

Aquarius

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(January 20-February 18)

You are determined to have a good family dinner this year. No arguing, no fighting, no awkward silences. You’re giving everyone a dose of holiday cheer and it’s coming in martini glasses this year! Whip them up some Peppermint Chocolate Martinis to make sure this year ends on a good note.

Pisces

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(February 19-March 20)

Time to celebrate the new year! You’re getting a little tired of the same champagne every year though. Shake things up with some Winter Wonderland cocktails this year!

ADVERTISEMENT

Aries

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(March 21- April 19)

The holidays are a stressful time and some people are impossible to shop for. Give it a rest for today and warm yourself up with a Butterscotch Martini.

Taurus

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(April 20-May 20)

Feeling a little heated after that argument over dinner with Grandpa? Why not go mix yourself a Raspberry Russian and cool off a little?

Gemini

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(May 21-June 20)

It’s that time of year again. It’s cold, it’s rainy, it’s snowy, and you’ve got the winter blues. Cheer yourself up with a Kahlua peppermint cocoa!

Cancer

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(June 21-July 22)

Finals are almost here and winter break is right around the corner. But you’ve got four tests to study for and you’ve barely even started! Don’t forget to treat yourself once in a while though—refresh yourself with a Pomegranate Martini.

Leo

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(July 23-August 22)

Holiday dinners are coming up and you’re in charge of drinks this year. Why not go all-out with some Raspberry Limoncello Proseccos for the whole family?

Virgo

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(August 23-September 22)

You studied hard and you just killed your last final—go celebrate your hard work with an Apple Pie on the rocks!

Libra

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(September 23-October 22)

How’s school? How are the grades? What are your plans after graduation? What job are you going to do for the rest of your life? That escalated quickly. Go knock back a few Cranberry Mules after that interrogation!

Scorpio

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(October 23 – November 21)

Family dinners are a minefield, but you somehow made it through alive. You definitely stepped on a few mines, but you made it! Go congratulate yourself and unwind with a Harvest Sparkle.

Sagittarius

Illustration by Ryan Caskey.

(October 23 – November 21)

Oh shit—you forgot to get Aunt Kathy a gift! What does Aunt Kathy like, what does Aunt Kathy like? Think! Yes! That’s it: MARGS. Make it up to her with a few Cranberry Margaritas, but don’t forget one for
yourself.

Kevin Keaton

Kevin Keaton

Comments

The Giveaway!

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Girl in elevator at Thompson on Tuesday night around 10. We both went to the 4th floor. You’re pretty af. Like this!

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Does anyone prefer Asians? (Guy or girl)

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Kyle Myers is sooo cute wow

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

Jason Mo-fucking-moa. God.

OSU Crush's Twitter avatar

OSU Crush
@OSUCrush

I got f*cked by a handful of professors this semester. Not literally, just metaphorically. Finals suck.

Follow us

Don't be shy, get in touch. We love meeting interesting people and making new friends.

X