I was very sheltered in high school so I’ve never been to a party or had a boyfriend. I’ve never even kissed anyone. I want to have fun college experiences, which include going to parties and hooking up and being in relationships but I’m so scared. Because of my inexperience, I feel like I can’t go to parties or hit on anyone because I wouldn’t know what to do. I also feel like it would be obvious that I don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice for me? I feel trapped.
Dear Sheltered Shelly,
You have nothing to worry about. I entered college without drinking prior and can now chug natties at 6 a.m. no problem on the mornings I don’t wake up still drunk. Best advice for drinking is to START SLOW. Drink in the privacy of a close friend’s place with people you know instead of immediately hitting bulls and over drinking. You WILL act like a inexperienced drunk freshman if you start too strong and don’t know how to handle yourself. Or, be sober—you will always be the life of the party if you are able to actually hold meaningful conversations and are able to be the person who is able to drive everyone home. The only people that will judge you for this should probably rot in hell.
In terms of kissing people or having a boyfriend, don’t sweat it. This college campus is HUGE, so if you hook up with someone/kiss someone and it is terrible, the chances of them seeing you again is slim to none. If you want to get the first kiss out of the way, having a friend go up to a man at a bar and say “my friend just got out of a bad relationship can you give her a kiss?” In terms of other things, don’t go home with a guy you aren’t comfortable with or you wouldn’t be comfortable going home with. Having a friends with benefits is a great way to get experience in without committing to anything—that is, if you have the ability to do so without catching the feels.
If you do catch the feels we recommend ice cream, crying, and inexplicably cutting them out of your life.
But there will always be worse experiences than a first timer for both you and whoever you choose to do things with, so remember that and if it is excruciatingly awkward, you never have to see the person again. Be safe, get drunk, get that dick, and go bucks.