I never dated in high school because, well, I just didn’t want to. I felt too young for an actual relationship so I just focused on studying and friends. Now that I’m in college, I’ve realized I’m ready for a relationship. In fact, I really want to be in one. The problem is that while everyone was learning how to flirt and date and simply talk to the opposite sex in middle school and high school, I was studying away so now I have no idea how to even approach a guy let alone convey that I have feelings for him. I feel so inexperienced compared to all the other freshman and I just want to meet an amazing guy who feels the same way about me that I do about him.
From inexperienced Isla.
Dear inexperienced Isla,
While it may seem like everyone knows what they’re doing, we guarantee that the majority of college-aged students are in the same boat. If you don’t believe us, watch an engineering student talk to literally anyone. The way most people solve this is by drinking liquid confidence (alcohol) until they can’t remember that they are inexperienced. Bars are a great space to amp up your flirt game, especially big trashy ones like Bulls and Midway because drunk people are overly transparent with their reactions, so you know exactly what worked and what didn’t. Also if you mess up, there are plenty of people to retry on.
But bars aren’t everyone’s thing, and if you’re looking for a relationship right away, you most likely won’t find it there. The truth is, there is no easy, organic solution to finding a soulmate in college. In reality, most people are single because finding someone is hard due to big class sizes and busy schedules. The best way to meet new people is to engage in social opportunities. Join clubs of your interests, get your homework done early so you can attend events or parties, talk to people in your classes who sit around you—find someone who is struggling with the material and offer to help them after class. Chances are, no boy is going to come to you while you’re doing homework alone or randomly hit you up when you don’t make an effort to actively put yourself out there and get involved.
And if all else fails, use Tinder. Just remember to put “not looking to hook up” in your bio. (Unless you are.)
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