I’ve been dating this guy for 3 years and I think I am a lesbian. Before I came to college, I lived in a very conservative community and I think that hindered my ability to realize my true self until now. I love my boyfriend, but I don’t think this is for me anymore. I just moved into a new apartment, and I think I may be crushing on my new roommate. Should I talk to my boyfriend about it? Confess my feelings to my roommate? Or just try and see if this is a phase that’ll go away. Please help.
– Confused Caroline
Dear Confused Caroline,
You should definitely talk to your boyfriend. It sounds like college is a lot different from your hometown and that’s not at all a bad thing. If you came from a conservative area where homosexuality/bisexuality is not seen as acceptable, no one can blame you for dating whom you thought was right. You can love someone as a person but not want to be with them romantically. My best friend’s mom figured out she liked women after popping 3 children out with one man and made him get a vasectomy, so waiting is not the answer.
As far as your roommate goes, maybe try to see if she’s into you before making any moves. If that Kinsey guy was right, love and sexuality is non-binary, aka not everyone is 100% straight—so if you two get along, there’s no saying what could happen! I would talk to your boyfriend first , tell him what’s going on, then maybe experiment with some girls before going for your roommate just to see if that’s something you actually want.
We wish the best for you and are excited that coming to college has allowed you to figure more things out about yourself!
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