1870 Mag

Clintonville Garage Sale Holds Young Adults Hostage

The Clintonville Garage Sale was this past weekend which is basically just a huge event where a bunch of middle aged women try to sell all of their shit at once because their kids either went or are going to college and they can’t bring every one of their blue bird-stamped plates to their new, smaller, much nicer home in some exotic place that they’ll inevitably move to as soon as young Joey packs his bags for college. Sorry, Debrah.


On the bright side, this means cheap, used goods for fresh, new adults to pick up and use in their own houses as they slowly remake their Ikea based apartment into one of a middle aged woman.


But is this a good thing or is it ruining our youth even further? Young people weigh in.


“I love a good garage sale because it keeps me from stealing dishes from local brunch places my friends and I go to,” Cassidy Gunner, 23-year-old said. “You know, I can’t always afford to buy plates for myself or enough dish soap to clean it, so I resort to stealing from my favorite brunch and coffee places.”


Another former student is uneasy about the garage sale.


“I have no self control when it comes to great deals,” Aaron Smears 23-year-old said. “So something like this really gets to me because I like to support local people but once I buy one thing, I can’t stop buying.”


A real adult also weighed in just for shits.


“You know these kids are so used to shopping using their smartphones, so I think this will be good for them to learn some self control only buying things they can carry, like all of my old clothes and/or large elephant statue,” Deborah said.

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here


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