1870 Mag

Aaron Carter Makes a Huge Comeback like He Said He Would

After a lively performance in the back room of Skully’s earlier this year, Aaron Carter announced that he will be making a come-back as the best single man boy band since Justin Bieber.

The announcement has hit hard for millenials who have been waiting years for a second wave of pre-pubescent angst that they have only been able to feel by listening to Aaron Carter’s “Candy” or doing hard drugs.


“I saw him at Skully’s because the tickets were only $10,” Belinda Bernard said after the performance. “I thought it was a really (great) experience and I am sure I will… go back again!”


Because we’ve learned to listen to Bernard along with every other millennial that doesn’t suck, her tweet about the performance afterwards, featuring a picture of her with Aaron Carter who appears to be also making out with her, got a lot of attention.


“I forgot about Aaron Carter as a person until I saw him making out with my daughter on her twitter,” Melissa Bernard said.


Bernard said she then went on to Carter’s personal twitter page that followed her first several months ago, which was decorated with tweets about how he was feeling “sexual tonight.”


“I thought it was really (cool) that he just put that stuff out there,” Bernard said. “It’s almost like he’s asking for people to notice him again.”


Well, Mrs. Bernard, if everything happens like Carter says it will on his twitter, he will be noticed again and will be HUGE. Carter will be making a comeback and (even though everyone forgot about him for the past several years) (and he now looks a little like a drug addict) (and tweets about his sexual feelings consistently including the word “horny” a couple times and also the hashtag babes), this time, when he make s a comeback, we will all be invited to Aaron’s party.

Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here



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