1870 Mag

A Factual Recount of Freshman Year

Carmen Smith is very excited to return to living with her parents for a full summer without freedom after her first year at Ohio State.

She had a great year, and it was exactly how she expected it to be! Her grades were even better than they were in high school, and she very easily found a perfect school, work and social life balance.

“Me and my roommate were best friends!” Smith said, “we never fought about being loud or sexiling each other. Not even once.”

Smith didn’t do a single thing she regretted while drunk, in fact, she usually woke up with more money than she began the night with, and feeling even better than she had before. Hangover is not in her vocabulary and when she woke up in bed with a hookup from the night before they were always hotter and more charming than she remembered.

Her favorite part of living on campus was the long walks to class, especially first thing in the morning. She particularly enjoyed the weeks on end of rain, or better yet, the snow.

“All of my friends complained about their freshman 15,” she said, “I actually lost exactly 15 pounds without trying, oops!”

Kennedy Commons was her perfect place to dine, and she is really going to miss it during the summer. Luckily, she used the perfect amount of dining dollars the whole semester and was never left with too many or too little.

Your experience was the same, right?

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