1870 Mag

8 Things To Do Instead of Your Taxes

Today is Tax Day, which means a bunch of adults will be sadly trying to scrounge from their sixth-grade pre-algebra curriculum to try to file their taxes. It’s a good thing all of the core curriculum focuses on how to read an x and y axis so we know EXACTLY how to reflect a parallelogram instead of how to actually do adult things that have to deal with money. Well as with most problems in our lives and love lives, it is better solved by avoiding it all together. Here is a list of eight things to do instead of your taxes:

  1. Talk about how much you don’t want to do your taxes
  2. Call your mom and ask if she wants to do your taxes
  3. Walk your dog and run into someone you don’t know that well who STILL thinks it’s okay to ask about your taxes
  4. Cry while looking at your taxes
  5. Bake a cake because you cried while looking at your taxes
  6. Get drunk and then angry at the system for making you do taxes
  7. Try to hire the smart middle schooler next door to do your taxes at a rate that borderlines breaking child labor laws
  8. Send a nasty letter to the white house for making you do something absurd like taxes and then be sure to add in how everything else in government is corrupt and how you don’t like Trump so they know it’s a real complaint.


Olivia Balcerzak

Olivia Balcerzak

why can't I put the entire lyrics of bohemian rhapsody in here


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