“Walter White has invited you to play Candy Crush!”
Social media is a double-edged sword. On one hand it gives us hilarious memes, vital news updates, and keeps us connected with people from all across the world. On the other hand, it keeps us connected with people from all across the world.
Everybody knows someone who is simply just a terrible follow and you have probably contemplated unfriending, unfollowing, or muting this person, but at the end of the day you just can’t. Any unfriending or unfollowing in 2017 might as well say “you are annoying as shit” and you can’t be doing things like that when you have to see these people on a day-to-day basis.
They might be annoying or you might be one of them, but here are the five types of people you will meet on social media.
- #FitFam: These are the people who need to make sure the entire world knows they hit leg day hard AF. They flood their Instagram and Instagram story with weekly progress pictures, meal prep plans, inspirational quotes that are vague, and plugs for some crazy ass supplement that supposedly works better than all the other gym junkies’ plugs; and though they aren’t much for Twitter, their Facebook comes with plenty of “I remember when I was fat,” posts to help make us soft body people feel guilty about eating Taco Bell while reading it.
- Dear Diary (and my 500 followers): This is the person who is posting some sappy and vague post about love or how they are just so tired of “giving so much only to receive too little” coupled with an emoji or possibly a screenshot of that sad Modern Baseball song they are listening to. While most of us internalize our emotional issues, they want the world to know they are still reeling over Bobby from Kappa Sig not texting back last night.
- The Drunk Guy: Most of the time this user’s account is inactive during the day, but around the nighttime the tweets and posts start pouring in. The best of these tweets can go unnoticed at times because the user isn’t tweeting their fullest drunk thoughts until 3 a.m. Sometimes they are reposting stories from three weeks ago, sometimes they are just screaming tweets into the void about whatever is swirling around in their drunk head. At times it’s funny, but other times you just think, “Someone get this guy some help.”
Angry Sports Man Who Knows Exactly Why OSU Lost: This guy doesn’t post anything all week besides the occasional repost of a hype video or story on the team, but boy when the Buckeyes lose does he have some hot takes. You’ll recognize this guy on Saturdays when he rapid fires 15 tweets in 10 minutes about how JT needs benched, Urban needs fired, and how the refs were clearly paid off by the other team. Good news is we only hear from this guy once or twice every 3 years.
- Your Grandma: Of all the intolerable people on social media, your grandma is the one bright spot on this list. Yeah, she probably sends you a shit ton of grandma memes about how you are the best grandchild in the world or random messages throughout the day for advice on how to “send a Twitter,” but it’s always a nice surprise when ol’ grandma pops in the Facebook messenger to remind me that I am not a complete piece of human garbage.