1870 Mag

15 Ways to Attempt to Burn Off Your Freshman 15 (or 30)

You’ve had your first taste of freedom and have spent the past year joyously and illegally binge-drinking, when suddenly your shorts you wore on your high school graduation trip cannot move past your thighs. Its time to find another form of physical activity, other than speed-walking across campus when late to class.

  1. Sweat out every bottle of Barefoot you snuck into your dorm room last semester in hot yoga
  2. Buy a bike and convince yourself to actually ride it
  3. Instead of Ubering home from your hookup, do it the old fashion way with a classic walk of shame
  4. Go to a gym and actually exercise instead of changing the music and talking to your friends
  5. Take a hike (warning: this only works if you post an artsy pic on Insta)
  6. Dance around your childhood bedroom, pretending you’re still at Bulls
  7. Get a puppy that you have to show off and take on walks
  8. Buy a leash for your cat and become That Person
  9.  Take a boxing class so next year you’ll know how to kick someone’s ass
  10. Walk around the mall, the more you buy the more weight you have to carry
  11. Sign up for a 5K that you’ll probably end up walking most of
  12. Try a pole dancing or heels class, gaining skills to show off next year
  13. A half hour session of sex burns around 100 calories. Just gonna leave that fact there.
  14. Get your shit together and tidy up, cleaning can be a great workout and you’ll no longer be surrounding by filth
  15. Just accept yourself and your new curves, go outside to enjoy your summer. You’ll spend the next three years partying too.

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